When your child invites their friends around for tea and you hear about some of the fun things their mothers do with them it’s very easy to get into competition to prove you are the better mother. It might not just be the fun things they do with their children either, it might be simply turning up to the school and chatting with other parents and seeing that their parents seem to be much more popular among other moms than you are. It’s not a nice feeling to have, but it certainly doesn’t mean getting into competition with other mothers is going to make things better.
There are plenty of other things that make you a better mother, and there are things that make them better mothers, so in theory, most mothers are equal whichever way you look at things. Many problems can arise if you compete with other mothers and we will look at a few of those problems below.
- You might make enemies – When competing with other mothers it would sometimes be very obvious to the mothers involved – this will quickly create certain atmospheres that nobody wants to be a part of and will in turn make you public enemy number one. There isn’t much point in competing when you know it’s going to have an adverse effect on not only your relationship with other parents but also your children’s relationship with theirs.
- Your child will understand what’s happening – Depending on the age of your children, they will more than likely know what is going on. The fact is, children aren’t stupid no matter what people say about them and they will always have an idea about what’s going on in their parents’ lives. When you are competing with other mothers, they will often hear snide remarks from you and will put two and two together – you will make it pretty obvious what you are doing without even realising it. It’s better just to keep your head down and get on with your own job as a parent and just be yourself.
- You won’t be yourself – When you are competing with other moms, you will find you are doing things that you wouldn’t usually do just to try and make yourself better. This is a problem because that would then mean you are not being yourself, or the mother that your children already love dearly. Always stick to the rules you implement into the household, just because some mothers out there let their children stay up late doesn’t mean you should just so you feel better than them.
- It could have an impact on your partner – Just remember that not being yourself has an impact on others around you, and in particular your partner. They will think there is something going on and will wonder why you are wanting to change things around all of a sudden. This will then impact the rest of the family and can end up causing you lose special relationships with the ones you love.
In conclusion, there really are no benefits in trying to compete with other mothers that you feel are much better at the job than you are, when in reality you are all equal and do things differently with your children. The best thing that any mother can do in this situation is to just be yourself, your children already love you as much as they possibly can so why stress over some of the things other parents are doing with their own children? Even if there are any benefits in trying to compete with other mothers, there are certainly many more benefits in just being yourself which outweighs trying to compete, so the direction in which you take to bring up your children should be your own decisions and nobody elses. There may come a time when other parents don’t agree with your methods, but that isn’t to say you are doing anything wrong, that might just be a case of jealousy from their own part.
The best thing you can do is concentrate on yourself and your family around you and never go down to the level of other parents that might envy you.
Photo supplied by Virginia State Parks